1. I realized recently that pregnancy is the only time where the Ninja baby will be just mine. Once she's born I have to share her with the world. But right now she's all mine. This thought has really made me look at pregnancy differently and feel more gratitude.
2. I put a lot of energy into not publicly showing negativity. As a result I think sometimes I misrepresent myself as always okay or always happy. That's totally not true. My world is beautiful and painful. Always and especially lately. Some days I manage better than others. I'm doing my best. If I ever make any of this look easy, I apologize. Life's not easy for me, and it's easy not for anyone else either. Not easy, but certainly very beautiful.
3. This blog post about gratitude really spoke to me: http://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/
I have a real internal struggle with the person that I want to be and the person that I think the world wants me to be. I have stated on the blog before that I want to "do more", not "have more". And for the most part I have been very good at having/acquiring less. But it's been hard. My value about things is low. I don't really care about things. I do care about being comfortable and there is an amount of materialism that coincides with that. However, if the house burned down tomorrow, I'd grab Nick, my dogs and my phone. (I have to stay connected!) The rest can burn. So why then, do I have to remind myself not to fill my virtual shopping cart on a daily basis?! After reading this blog post I realize the change needs to come from a place where I not only value doing over owning, but that I also value myself as enough.
This face slays me.
A bit blurry. But this group of people are family. Love them.
29 week bump (a couple weeks ago!)
As always, thanks to all of you for being a part of my life. For the beautiful and painful parts. I adore you all.
XO,
That group of people loves you too! You do more than you know for people, and I think that is a problem that a lot of people have. I feel like I often judge my impact on the world around me by my standards and point of view and not other people's, who are the people I am trying to impact. I bet if you took a little poll of the people in your life your impact is drastically higher than you think! Your blog is awesome and totally a positive impact in my life!
ReplyDeleteThank you Josh! I think what I'm saying is that we put our best face forward online. And I really want to be my true, genuine self. So, although I'm working towards be a positive presence, I don't want to be misleading. You can sure make a girl feel good about herself though. :)
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